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Cottonmouths, armadillos and leprosy — pick your poison

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  • I was suddenly at one with nature, holding up a 15-pound armadillo — and I was shaking with tsunami ferocity. Absurd scene: me holding a live armadillo by the tail, while standing in my underwear and convulsing like I’d been tagged with a Taser gun.

But the idiot in me won out. It usually does. I felt the urge to pick him up. I couldn’t help myself. Bee to honey. Moth to flame. I was fully aware that armadillos carry leprosy and other apocalyptic afflictions. No matter; not even the possibility of living in a leper colony or walking around ringing a bell for the rest of my days was going to stop me. The tapered tail was jutting out, beckoning to me as I grabbed, pulled, and stood up with him. It was the ignorant grasp of a three-year-old; the sort that results in burnt hands atop an oven. The armadillo hissed, grunted, made all sorts of guttural noises and then exploded in vibration. Yes, I was suddenly at one with nature, holding up a 15-pound armadillo — and I was shaking with tsunami ferocity. Absurd scene: me holding a live armadillo by the tail, while standing in my underwear and convulsing like I’d been tagged with a Taser gun.

 

Giant feral pig killed by Mississippi farmers

Photos: Hunting season on, beware the cottonmouth

 

Anyhow, I made a hobbling sprint to the unplanted cotton field and dropped him in a furrow. Then I ran back inside, grabbed a camera, and got a single memento shot before he rumbled off.

I’ve been checking my skin each day; no more itchy than usual so far. (I haven’t got around to mentioning the relation between armadillos and leprosy to my wife.) Rest assured, if I wind up a leper, I will find and kill that armadillo — and oh yes, oh yes, I’ll mount the tail.

(Click here to see Maggie with a snake trophy)

 

Follow me on Twitter: @CBennett71

 

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For more, see

Photos: Hunting season on, beware the cottonmouth

Land forming with a Delta maverick — Robert Precht

Giant feral pig killed by Mississippi farmers

Crappie fishing brings luck of the gool

Fire ants vs. Benadryl a battle of pain

Discuss this Blog Entry 1

Anonymous (not verified)
on Apr 24, 2012

You can actually only get leprosy from armadillos by eating their undercooked meat. And, according to my dad, if you feed them some worms, they'll follow you anywhere.

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